Pubes

OK, so I'm confused, often, but today I'm confused as to when girls (and boys) decided that pubic hair was not needed.

I mean, when did we all decided that we'd rather be bald than have a lovely little pubic Afro?

When i was younger, lets say 10, i remember praying every night to the God of Pubic Hair for some pubes. I remember the awkwardness of having to undress in front of my father and see his Almighty growth and be ashamed of my bald penis. Not that my penis was small mind, it was an average size and still is, it was just bald.

I remember when i got older and being in Secondary school and having conversations about pubes and how much growth we had, and making fun of the poor underdeveloped kids, beating them until they grew some.

I blame the media! I remember when i was 14, or so, the height of my pubic development and also the height of my masturbation, not that i'm saying that i dont like a tug on the penis now that i'm older, all i'm saying is i was young and done it a lot.

So anyway i'm trailing off the subject, so when i was 14 channel 5 showed the best show a 14 year old could watch "The Red Shoe Diaries". The sexiest show for a 14 year old to watch (alone). For the ones amongst you who dont rememer or who've never seen the programme heres the basic outline;

The show started with a struggling writer, played by David Duchovny (before he shot to fame in The X-Files), the struggling writer is having a hard time of it, all the newspapers and magazines are saying is work is underpar and his novel, dont get him started on his novel. Throughout all of this the poor writer, David Duchovny (remember this), has no money for a tv or the internet which means no porn. Which leaves his frustrated (sexually), and he uses the only tool his has left... his art. The art of words. So he writes dirty stories for himself to masterbate over. Luck for us (the viewer) we get to see his words come to live, acted out by actors.

Its here that the problem of the hairy pubic region came to be. The fact that the program is set in the late 80's early 90's means that all the soft-core porn actors have huge bushes!

And this being mine (and hopefully others) first venture into porn & sex leaves us all with the impression that the more pubes you have the more sex you'll get.

Its this reasoning that left me demanding more pubes on girls... and on myself. If i was ever going to have sex and not feel embarrassed infront of my father i was gonna have to have the BIGGEST BUSH EVER!

Now, 9 years on from "The Red Shoe Diaries" days, i've found that porn and sex have decided to change and leave me behind... they've left me with the HUGESTBUSH EVER, when the rest of the world has decided that the balder you are the more sex you'll have.

WHY?? Why has this happened?


So now its time for my confession, I've started to shave off my pubes. This has left my feeling dead on the inside and itchy in my pants.

The pubes are fighting back and have started growing back at a faster rate and the pubes that are growing back are leaving my itchy and red and most of all IT FUCKING HURTS!..

So please whom ever controls the media can you please bring back the bush.

I know it looks untidy, and sometimes can smell, but i like it. It reminds me of happier times. Times when the world hadn't destroyed my dreams...

If you feel the same... well... LETS GROW THE AFRO'S BACK!!

Blog 1

So here it is, the 1st of hopefully many blogs to come.

So what do bloggers write about? How to blogger's structure their thoughts into interestingly readable stories? How do they get people caring? Do we open up? Do we lie? ...most importantly how do we join a blogging website?

This is what i thinkk my 1st blog will be about... not all of these, just the latter. "How do we join a blogging website?"

Because i'll tell you friends (this is how i feel i should referee to the readers, if any, of my blogs) i found it hard. I decided about an hour ago that i was going to join the many blogger's of the world and start my very own blog.

But what website do i use? Which is the best?... I looked at all my friends (this is how i will referee to my friends, if any) blogs and looked at all the different websites they use. Some used "WordPress" others used "Blogspot" and others used blogs that looked to be too fancy or too childish. So i ruled out "BlogSpot" as it looked childish and silly, went to "WordPress".

So on over to "WordPress" i dandered, it was bright, glossy and new to me. I thought "this is the blogging site for me and my thoughts".. but how wrong i was. The site seemed easy to use, wronng again! I started to sign up "Easy steps to follow" it says, and I'm thinking "i bet this is going to be easy"...wrong again friends, wrong again.

I followed the steps, i added my user name, password, password again, e-mail address, clicked the terms and bam... clicked finish. At this point i thought "wow this was truly easy", but then my lovely blue columns, well, one wasn't blue anymore, one had decided to change to red. "Raging!" i thought... OK, I'll change the name.... still red.. I'll change it again....still red. "What the fuck do i have to do to make this turn blue again!"..i yell, the office turns and looks at me, ironically I'm red faced at this point.

I try 4 more times... each leaving me more and more angry...

Finally i give in. I turn to Google.com, it will hold the answers to my pain, my misery. Google will show me an easy to use blogging website.. and it did! It led me to this website.. and now i can say "I, Blain Murphy, am a blogger. And a happy one at that!"

End.